Someone asked me how to go about instilling self-discipline in their child. I am no expert parent, but the question led me to the following. And if you read between the lines, it applies to having a great VT practice.
I recently saw a really interesting video of a retiring general of the Army and West Point grad. He spoke of one simple thing that instilled discipline in him. He makes his bed every morning upon arising. Simple, but he starts every day in a disciplined way. Also, where do your clothes go when freshly washed, and where do they go when soiled? Establishing a place for everything is very useful.
Also, actually teach your child how to do each of the tasks of a disciplined person. Don’t just tell them how to clean their room, actually walk them through it. Assisting and deciding where items will go when not in use.
Are shoes lined up in a specific place? Are shirts and all other clothing items hung up in an organized manner, or placed in drawers? Teach how to fold and hang clothes, again by walking through the process.
One reason military discipline works is that at some point what will have you survive is your discipline. You don’t have that motivation, but you can point out how it will make their life much better. Not having to search for things placed helter-skelter and not having to think about trivial things, knowing that your stuff is taken care of, allows you to use your brain for actual thinking. And you will better be able to identify and grasp opportunities that are constantly presenting themselves. Undisciplined people often miss these openings for action because they’re always distracted by dealing with some messiness in their lives.
George S. Patton, surely the greatest WWII general, took over a North Africa regiment that was completely undisciplined. He insisted they all wear their helmets at all times, that they cleaned up and shaved regularly, that they saluted and treated everyone with respect and could be counted on to cover their buddies in battle. He had no tolerance for racism.
In a matter of months, he plunged deep into Germany. His supply lines were long, but his support troops, with pride, kept up the logistics; flow of ammunition, fuel, food, letters and packages from home, and got they credit for their accomplishments. Same with the Engineers who built the pontoon bridges that kept his troops advancing.
In the film, PATTON, George C. Scott plays the general as a deep voiced, blustering man. But Patton was not that tall, and he had a high-pitched voice in reality. He was assigned during the preparation for D-Day, to manage a non-existent army in the South of England. Fake dispatches and coded messages, inflated rubber vehicles in neat rows, moved here and there to appear real. Same with aircraft. He did PR appearances all over southern England, and it was all carefully followed in Germany as they prepared their defense of the coast of France.
Patton hated the assignment, but the German generals were so afraid of this incredibly effective leader, that they assumed he would spearhead the invasion at a point far south of where the actual invasion occurred. And right after the beachhead was established, General Eisenhower turned George S. Patton loose. Within a year, the war was over.
(By the way, around 1970 I happened to attend a talk at a retreat, and George C. Scott was pacing outside, working on his role as Patton. Another example of self-discipline. Preparation to become the character.)
Discipline is a recurring characteristic of most accomplished and powerful people. Perhaps you should watch the film with your children and point this out. It wasn’t his famous ivory handled revolvers, his shined and polished helmet, or his custom-tailored uniforms that made him so effective, it was his self-discipline. He led by example and his men loved him and knew he was backing them at every turn. In a famous event, there was a traffic jam at a cross roads. Patton came up in his jeep, got out and directed traffic. What kind of general does that? A general you want to fight alongside.
Bringing it all back home. What dreams and aspirations do your children entertain? In what specific ways will being disciplined help them more easily realize and accomplish? This will change over time of course. At first it may be simple, going somewhere special, or doing something they like. As they grow, that may change to an interest in a particular activity or topic. For me it was theater. You don’t get to participate in theater if you are undisciplined.
You are part of a cast or troupe; a member of a team and they’re counting on you. If you don’t show up, ready to go, on time or early, the show won’t go on. And if you are flaky in any way, you will never be cast or permitted to participate again
And you will be required to repeat your performance, or your role backstage over and over, each time to the very best of your ability, and without changing, ad-libbing or leaving something out.
Same applies to team sports. Be a flake and you’re out. We’ve seen many undisciplined rising stars flame out for lack of self-discipline. Too good to practice with the team? Bye bye. whatever it is that a child wants that required discipline will do to convey the value of being disciplined.
And of course, you, the parent (or practice owner and leader) must have discipline and show it constantly. Do you make your bed every morning?
Care to discuss this article or talk about your practice? Email Thomas at visionisfuture@yahoo.com, or book a free initial phone consultation with Amee Lecoq.
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